Having To Say 'No' When I Don't Want To

I hardly know it all. Really. 

But there's something about having 'published author' attached to your name that makes people think you do. In the past 2 years I've had a few things published and I signed a 2 book deal with J. Taylor Publishing for my fantasy series, Pool of Souls, but that does NOT make me a pro in the book writing field.

Giggle-inducing enough, some people believe it does.

A handful of people have contacted me since my journey to publication has begun to sprout little seedlings, wanting to know if I would write their stories - their memoirs, their unique journeys through this life. 

Now don't get me wrong. I'm not upset by this in the least! Quite honored, actually. BUT, I'm a fiction writer. I don't have a clue about memoirs or biographies, nor would I even know where to start. 

I've even had a few pitch their own ideas / plots to me in the hopes that I would write the book for them.

Gulp.

How the heck do you say no to these people? These family members and friends who would do anything for YOU should you ask them??? NOT easy. As soon as someone says to me, "I have an idea I want to share with you" or "I'm wondering if you would be willing to write my life story ..."

Yup. That's my reaction. On the inside, anyway. 

What do I say? How do I let them down gently? HOW can I even do either???!! The non-fiction idea peeps are easier to deal with, since I honestly don't know anything about that market. Even so, I always feel like I'm offering excuses when I should be jumping at the chance to help them.

*Smash head on table*

Oh, but the others - those folks who have a plot line that just needs characters, a world, flesh, voice, and WORDS. Le sigh.

I really have a hard time telling them that it's nearly impossible (for me) to write a story that wasn't inspired within my own brain. You other writers know what I'm talking about? Yes, there are anthology calls I've submitted to, but ONLY ones that triggered an idea of my own. One my muse ran away with.

If it's not my fictional baby, my own WiP, I find it impossible to say yes. 

So, what do I do? 

Encourage them to write it on their own. It's their story, it should be in their voice, their style. THEN I offer to take a peek at it when they're finished, or send them onto a rockin' critique site like Scribophile where they can hone their craft and spit-shine that manuscript for submission.

*big cleansing breath*

How 'bout you? Can you say 'NO' when you really feel you shouldn't / don't want to? Have any ideas on what I could say for the next time it happens??

Neverending Rollercoast Ride

The viscious circle of submission and rejection. And submission. And rejection. And ... wait. Was that an acceptance? Woo Hoo!

*squeeeeeing while topping that ridge*

Another rejection. Blah. The uphill climb - the hope, the waiting. Then bam.

Another rejection. Another low.

Feels never ending, doesn't it???  These authors rode the rollercoaster. Perhaps you've heard of them?

J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter was rejected by 5 publishers.

Margaret Mitchell's Gone With the Wind (a pulitzer prize winner, mind you) was rejected 18 times.

William Golding's Lord of the flies got a big fat NO 20 times.

Stephen King had dozens of rejections.

John Grisham's first novel, A Time to Kill, was rejected by 16 agents & a dozen publishers.

I think my point is obvious. These folks didn't jump off the rollercoaster. They pulled those lap bars tighter and hung on for dear life, determined to ride it out. Did they enjoy every second, hands held high & squeeeeing? Did they hit the 'send' button in fear in trembling? Send out that snail mail package in excitement or depression? I'm sure they did both,BUT they didn't let the NO stop them.

There's an English word for a beginning writer who never gives up. Published.  - J. Konrath

Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing.
- Benjamin Franklin

Those authors didn't give up. Their stories of success, of perseverance (IN SPITE OF DISCOURAGEMENT!!!)  are worth reading. Hang in there. Keep hitting that 'send' button.

Do YOU squeeee? Cry? Smash your head on the table like that muppet character, Don Music, does on his piano? You know the one ...

"Oh, I'll never get it right! Never!" 

Yup. That's me. A LOT. How 'bout you? 

Happy Anniversary To Me!!!

My anniversary was yesterday, but I waited for my regular schedule blog day to share what I've been thinking a LOT lately ...

 "How do you balance life and writing?"

When I ask other writers, the usual answer I get is they make the time to write. Unfortunately, with 2 little kids at home with me all day, I can't do that. I'm told, 'Get up earlier. Write at night.'

Getting up early is out because my daughters are up and in arms by 6:00 am. And till hubs is home, fed, & the kiddos sleeping, my brain is fried.

So how do I do it? In 1 to 5 minute segments. If all is quiet in the Rochenski household for more than those 5 minutes, though, I'm more than likely in trouble. Permanent marker on faces and walls, large bottles of baby powder opened to create a winter wonderland inside a bedroom ... UGH. A nice scent, but NOT easy clean up!

On the rare occasion that I wake up at 5, mind churning over a scene or chapter, I jump from bed and write like mad before my real life begins for the day. Doesn't happen too often.

For me it's all about priorities and balance.

Some days I need to forgo staring at my laptop to read Dr. Seuss till my ears ring. Some evenings I sit and watch American Picker re-runs for the health of my marriage. I carry a small notebook & pen in the diaper bag just in case inspiration strikes during gymnastics class or while I'm barreling through the grocery story.

I do what I can when I can. Writing is what I do for myself. It's the ONLY thing I do for myself. Chances are I won't ever make it to the best sellers list, but that's alright cuz my precious family is the most important thing in my life. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Do you make time to write? Steal snippets of time whenever available?

E: Enjoying a Break!!

Up at the lake house on Pine River Pond.

No internet. No phone. No cable.

I should have been writing or editing, but I just couldn't do it. Books called, their pages crinkling late into the night. And in the mornings, I drank coffee while looking over my back 'yard', which is THE BEST place to write. Ever.

This pic is from last summer. The lake hasn't filled yet (thanks to no snow, runoff, or spring downpours), but here's to hoping!! Trees aren't that green yet, either.

Yes, I enjoyed my break, but now it's back to the old grind. Life and the muse are fighting for my undivided attention.

Where do you go to relax? Escape? Write?



Active Voice vs. Passive Voice - Who Gets the Championship Belt?

 You sneak into the Grammar Arena.  It's packed full to capacity, and the spectators are screaming, waiting for their favored fighters to appear.  You wander down to ring-side where I have seats.    

"Care to join me?" I ask, patting the empty chair beside me. 

"Who's gunna win?" you wonder while sitting down. 

"Who knows?" I reply.  "But, as an avid reader I can say that a scene written in the active voice is more enjoyable."

"Why's that?" you ask.

"Because the active voice creates conflict and drives a story forward.  It keeps me turning pages late into the night.  The passive voice on the other hand is flat, uninteresting, and has no conflict."  I yawn, my jaw cracking. "The active voice is stronger than the passive because it's more direct and cuts unnecessary words.  That's especially helpful if you're writing micro or flash pieces. 

"Here." I hand you a brochure.  "It gives you a bit of information on today's fighters."

Active voice – When the subject is causing the action.  

Passive voice – When the subject receives the action expressed by the verb.  

            Examples:

1.     Jack was loved by Jane.  -passive 

      Jane loved Jack.  -active    

2.      The boat was driven by Jack.  -passive

            Jack drove the boat.  -active

3.   Dust was kicked up by the horse's hooves.  -passive

      The horse's hooves kicked up dust.  -active

4.   The barrels were stacked in the cart by John.  - passive

      John stacked the barrels in the cart.  - active

Ways to recognize the passive voice

1.       It will often include a form of the verb ‘to be.’  Examples:

The flowers were being picked by Jane.

The car had been washed by John.

*Using these verb forms does not always make a sentence passive. 

  Example:  I am understanding the concept.  – Here the subject ‘I’ is doing the action, thus       

it’s in active voice. 

2.      The sentence will include ‘by the’ after the verb.  Examples: 

Jack was bit by the dog.

Heat was thrown off by the furnace.

The gurney was pushed by a nurse.

            

Fixing the passive voice

            It’s easy.  Put the character / subject (doer of the action) up front.  Here’s the above examples in the active voice:

            Jane picked the flowers.    

            John washed the car.

            The dog bit Jack.

            The furnace threw off heat.

             A nurse pushed the gurney.

Use of the passive voice is not always wrong

Here are some times when it is better or necessary to use the passive voice:

1. If the subject is purposefully being kept a secret / you wish to create mystery in your sentence.   When you want your reader to say, “Who did it?”  (You'll notice from the first example that politicians are fond of doing this.)

A mistake was made.

Shots were fired.

2. Highlighting the object because it's the focus of the story.  If 'what' is stolen is more important than 'who' stole it, you would write:  

           The files were stolen by the intruder.

3. When you wish to stress the victim of the action rather than the doer.  If it’s more important to the story  that we remember who Jane kissed, you would write:

John was kissed by Jane.

You re-fold the brochure, your brow furrowed.

"Still not sure who's gunna win?" I ask.

"It won't matter who wins.  There's bound to be a rematch."   

I nod.  "One last thing - I've read that the active voice shows the reader what is happening and the passive voice tells it.  You've heard about the 'Show vs. Tell' fight, right?"

"I have," you say, "but we can discuss that on another day.  Here comes today's fighters."

Which voice do you gravitate toward in your writing?  In your reading?