HOW DO YOUR CHARACTERS TALK?
Thank
you, Terri, for allowing me to visit your blog today to discuss the backbone of
any good story—the dialog. Can you imagine reading a book without hearing the
characters speak? Dialog doesn’t just add verbal liveliness to a story, but
tells us about the person talking and a little about the person being spoken to.
It also drives us through the literary dream world we’re creating for our
readers.
To
write dialog that pulls the reader deeper into the story, there are some things
the author must know about the characters.
Age—Teenagers use slang that grandmas,
like me, seldom use. “You see what I’m sayin’?” “True that” I love it when an
author takes the time to incorporate a young child’s speech patterns into a
story. “But, Mommy, I like da wed shoes.” Let me tell you, I’m in love with the
child already and I’m reaching for my charge card.
Sex—Men speak differently than women.
They typically use shorter sentences or grunts. Sometimes, a stronger peppering
of cuss words too. Women will often use the phrase “I feel like…” A man, not so
much. Also, we talk differently around members of the opposite sex than we do
around a group of our own sex. Listen to people talk in the mall or in a
restaurant. There’s “girl talk” and then there’s “woman to man” talk. No, it
doesn’t always contain flirting, but there are subtle differences.
Education—Has your character graduated from
high school or college? Vocabulary levels will differ to a degree between the
two education levels, not much, but enough to be noticeable.
Character’s
Background—Different
parts of the country speak differently. Some say soda; some say soda pop, or
simply pop. Some areas drop the g’s off the endings of words (something more
prone in an older person than someone younger). English speaking people of
other nationalities are less prone to use contractions.
Location
of Your Story—If your
story takes place in another country, pick a half-dozen to a dozen words to use
in that country’s native tongue. Words readers will find easily recognizable.
For example, in my stories set in Paris, I used oui for yes, cherie for
sweetheart, mon ami for my friend, or
café au lait for coffee with cream.
In my Scottish paranormals, I made a list of words to consistently use to add
flavor and sense of place. Remember any words written in a language other than
English go in italics.
Dialog
tags are a sign of weak writing, so avoid them. I was shocked the first time my
agent sent back a manuscript with every dialog tag crossed out and a note in
the comments section—“You can do better. This is a sign of weak writing. Use
your action beats to indicate who is speaking. This will strengthen your
writing.”
Well,
folks, I didn’t even know what an action beat was! I had a good pity cry over
that…and I don’t mean a few weepy tears, either. How was I to keep dialog
straight? My readers would be confused? How would removing “he said/she said’s”
strengthen my writing?
So,
I practiced and worked and rewrote until I could turn an 85,000 word manuscript
over to my editor for her to read and edit with zero said tags. My biggest
challenge was the tag “he/she whispered.” I don’t know why that one was so hard
for me to master, but I was all kinds of tickled when I finally figured it out.
Yes,
writing without said tags requires more work for the author, but it creates a
more vibrant visual for our reader. Let me give you a quick example.
1.) “Was that Aaron’s truck I just saw
leaving?” Taylor asked when he stormed in.
2.) Taylor stormed into the kitchen and
tossed his keys on the counter, their clanging disturbing the quiet and making
Emma wince. Taylor’s brown eyes narrowed and his face reddened with anger
beneath his dark scruff of beard. “Was that Aaron’s truck I just saw leaving?”
Now, which example gave you the
better visual? The deeper emotion—both his and hers? Which one drew you deeper
into the scene? Hopefully, the one without the “said tag.” Yes, example 2 was
more work for me, but my goal is to create page turners that pull you deeper
into the literary dream world I’m creating for you. To do that, I must work at
it, even if it means rewriting it a dozen times.
As a reader, I find dialog tags
annoying, especially the he/she said after a question mark. Think about it. A
question mark only has one function. One. To indicate that the previous string
of words were asked in a questioning manner. So why would you insult your
readers’ intelligence by slapping on he/she said afterward as if they were too
dumb to know what that “?” meant? We cannot insult our readers this way. We
entertain, we transport them to other worlds, we even educate to a degree, but
we never, ever insult their intelligence.
~~~oOo~~~
Although the title to this novella
is Santa Wore Leathers, it is a
romance for all seasons. Plus it kicks off my Firemen’s Wild Heat series with
many of the hunky fire and marine rescue personnel you’ll meet in this novella.
Take one man-shy reporter, a gorgeous ex-Navy SEAL turned
firefighter, add in a thong-stealing dog… and Christmas will never be the same
again!
There’s only one thing on Becca Sinclair’s Christmas list this
holiday season – her very own column in the local paper. And if she can build a
huge blog following, her wish just might come true.
Enter Dan ‘Wolf’ Wolford aka the man-whore next door and the new
star of Becca’s popular, post-divorce blog about men. A Navy SEAL turned
commander of the Florida Marine Rescue Unit, Wolf’s the very definition of the
word alpha – and with an endless rotation of women on his doorstep, this hunk
on a Harley has Becca and her female followers all hot and bothered!
All Becca wants for Christmas is her newspaper column, right? But
when she finds herself the target of Wolf’s irresistible attentions, her snarky
comebacks become less and less convincing and, suddenly, she’s not so sure
anymore…
Don't I feel like the fool? I meant to talk about "he/she asked" tags after the use of a question mark, NOT he/she said. Where was my editor when I needed her?
ReplyDeleteI'm totally giggling right now because I didn't catch that either!
DeleteThanks for a great post, Vonnie!
Great advice, Vonnie. Your example was very educational.
ReplyDeleteVonnie is full of wisdom. The perfect guest for my WWW!
Delete